The osteopath who was treating my torn quad/quin later that day was astounded when I mentioned it and laughed his head off, literally. A quartet with 5 instruments is a quintet. It’s a mathematical and linguistic nonsense. Top of the list was the recently discovered 5 th quad. On Tuesday I googled quads to try and understand my latest stupid injury. Who goes down the longest? A whale or a snake? Whizz, splat!

When I learned this last week, I invited the other people in the room to guess which animal holds the record. What?! Sea snakes can hold their breath for over 8 hours?! What do whales do? 3. I consciously keep my mouth shut in most company so that the cream pies flying behind my eyes don’t shoot out. You must.Īnd that unintended double entendre your colleague just let slip is worthy of Finbarr Saunders plus two actresses and a bishop! The flighty clown of my soul takes some restraining.īut the pun works on so many levels. Humour helps but people soon tire of my dumb/clever gags. There is a puzzle in grabbing the right kind of attention. Should I feel short-changed or lucky? Is someone showing us a kindness, fast-forwarding through the boring bits? Last week scientists provided actual data that our planet is spinning faster, shortening our days. I share that need to switch off.īut our days are getting shorter. Yes, people are overloaded in our Attention Economy. I face this conundrum most days as my mind ranges wide. So how do you slide something into conversation that has no natural fit? I’m yet to discover a reliable technique. *Eyerolls* *Groans* Is that a fact, Einstein? In your opinion. Whenever you use those words, or the roundly derided fun-fact! you risk giving the ick.

Elisabeth finch julian barnes